I know it wasn't meant to be offensive, the comment about believing in God's calling to be a stay-at-home Mom, but it insinuated that, by working and owning my own business, I wasn't following God's will. We've heard the comments a million times. You know the ones...
"How nice that you get to be out of the house and let someone else raise your family."
"It must be nice to work just to have extra spending money!"
"Aren't you concerned about missing your kids milestones?"
"It's sad that she loves her job more than her kids..."
It seems there's this competition between the moms that stay at home and mom's that work. Why can't we just agree that both are important and freaking hard. As women, we all wear dozens of "hats" and are constantly balancing different things at once.
We each have different gifts, callings and passions, but not a single one of those things makes us a better or worse Mom than the next. There are some mom's that would give anything to be able to be at home with their kids. Instead, they go to a job every day that they hate and they feel like a failure because they aren't able to be home. Guys- Mom guilt is bad enough- WHY are we adding to that by acting like working moms or stay-at-home moms are any better than the other?
I am so passionate about chasing your dreams, and following what you're passionate about. For us, working is helping to pay off our burdensome student loans, AND it's also something that I love to do. I LOVE being able to serve couples and brides, by providing encouragement and advice to them along the sometimes stressful ride of planning a wedding. I also love my family, being a Mom and being actively present. And guess what-- I can do both. It might be difficult, I may be struggling my way to find balance, and trust me, there are many many hard days- but don't we all have crappy, frustrating days? EVERYONE else has struggles, crappy, frustrating days, and your life isn't any easier or harder than theirs.
My point is that you totally can have a family and still chase your dreams! How can I sit here and tell my daughter that she can do whatever she wants when she grows up, yet expect her to drop all her dreams once she has her own family? I refuse to do that. If your dream is to stay at home with your kids, then that is awesome! If your dream is to have a family and continue to follow other passions that God has laid on your heart- then good for you! From today on, let's agree to be moms of encouragement & stop looking down on each other for pursuing our passions!!
Encourage a Momma this week- I guarantee you they have had a difficult day and need it. It can be a simple text, giving a big hug, writing out a card about what you admire about them, or taking them out for coffee! Let's stop adding to each others guilt but celebrate each other in our talents and what we're called to do!
Ashley Eiban is a Wedding & Portrait Photographer based in Central Virginia. Serving Lynchburg, Charlottesville, Farmville, Bedford, Roanoke, Richmond & surrounding areas. Available for travel worldwide.
Ashley is passionate about Motherhood and in chasing your dreams and doing what you love. Currently booking a limited number of weddings for 2016 and 2017. Contact us today for additional information!